As wedding season approaches & all these weddings/engagements takes place among my classmates...I can't help but feel like I am way off track. Everyone around me is settling down, starting a family, and moving away with their partners. & what exactly am I doing? I'm wondering if I'll be partying this weekend as hard as I did the previous. I'm wondering if I'll ace this exam I've been studying my ass off for. I'm wondering if I'll get to travel the world as planned this summer before starting yet another tedious semester of school. As the world around me settles down and starts to graduate, I'm still prepping myself for another decade (it seems) of school. The MCAT is getting closer. & yes, I am freaking the efffff out. I am not prepared. I know I've still got some time to study, I'll get to take them over if I don't do well the first, but ahhhh! there's so much pressure from everyone! Why am I so freaking behind!? Well I already know why...but gahhh! I have yet to even choose where I want to go to Medical school. Paris would be a dream come true. To attend UMPC, be closer to family & to explore a brand new continent would be an incredible opportunity. But California is home; always have been & always will be.
Sorry this blog is such a downer. I can't exactly vent to the people around me, because they have enough going on in their lives, no need to dump my crap on them.
I just need to somehow fast forward the next 6 years of my life. To be graduating from Med school & have settled in a place where my heart will be at it's absolute happiest...I begging the next 6 years to hurry up! >.<
But until that miraculously happens, I will continue to live my life. I will continue to make the most out of every blessed moment that is handed to me. As the quotes goes... I would rather live my life to the fullest than constantly conduct myself in a certain way to gain approval from others. I have regrets, but no apologies.
Bonne nuit mes amis ♥
4.16.2009
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